


Loneliness

by lesbianreyna



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, i am too tired to think of tags for this sorry friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 18:11:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5426798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianreyna/pseuds/lesbianreyna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is one of the works I posted on my ff.net account before I had an AO3.  It was part of a multi-chapter work I posted a year ago called "PJO Holiday One-Shots", the rest of which I'm not going to bother transferring over to here because they weren't very good.</p>
<p>Annabeth isn't having a very good Christmas.  Neither is Piper.  Emotions are terrible and confusing, especially when they make you want to kiss your friend after your boyfriend's gone missing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loneliness

The Christmas Eve capture the flag game had always been one of Annabeth’s favorite traditions. But tonight felt like the worst night of her life. Maybe it was the mistletoe hanging from the cabin doors, or the surreal twilight of the woods at dusk, or perhaps she was just frozen to the point of delusion. Somehow or another, Annabeth’s heart was in a constant state of sinking, the rising panic of another oncoming cry-session at the back of her throat ready to jump at any moment. Gods, she hadn’t missed him like this in months. But tonight…

Tonight was different.

Dragging her feet through the snow, Annabeth stomped on. The snow, which was nearly knee-high, wasn’t making things any easier. She was supposed to be attacking the other team from the side. Come to think of it, she should have been running, but without her heart in it, what was the point?

Somewhere nearby, someone was whistling. It was a soft, mournful sound against the otherwise silent backdrop of the forest, so quiet Annabeth wasn’t sure whether or not she was imagining it. But as she got closer, she recognized it. “I’ll Be Home for Christmas”. Given the circumstances, it was a bit of a punch to the gut. As far as Annabeth was concerned, her home was wherever Percy was. She hadn’t been home for a long time, and certainly wouldn’t be by the next day. She did her best to ignore it and steeled herself, holding her knife at the ready. After all, what kind of daughter of Athena would she be if she couldn’t take down at least one opponent?

But as Annabeth crashed through the woods towards the music, she realized she wasn’t facing a foe at all. Or rather, her foe wasn’t facing her. Piper, who was sitting on a rock outcrop with her legs dangling over the side, just sighed as she turned toward Annabeth.

“Is it all right if I just surrender? I’m not really feeling the whole fighting thing tonight,” Piper said, picking snowflakes out of the braid that stuck out of her helmet and averting her eyes.

Annabeth figured she must have looked like an idiot, standing there with her mouth gaping open and her knife-wielding arm slack at her side. If any of her siblings saw her, she’d never hear the end of it. She sighed, because right now she saw precisely two options. One, she could do exactly what she was supposed to, take the surrender, and keep going. Two, she could do what she really wanted to do. Any other day, option one would be the obvious choice, but the thought of it tonight made Annabeth sick to her stomach.

“Can I be honest with you?” Annabeth said. She hadn’t exactly made a conscious decision towards option two, and yet here she was anyway, sheathing her knife and slowly making her way over to Piper.

Piper raised her eyebrows, and Annabeth realized how out of character this must seem to Piper. Gods, it even felt strange to Annabeth herself. “Of course,” Piper said, after a pause that was a little bit longer than Annabeth would have liked. “We’re friends. You know that.”

“Yeah,” Annabeth said quietly, pretending to adjust the sleeve of her jacket so she didn’t have to look at Piper as she sat down next to her. “To be honest, I’m not in much of a fighting mood either.”

“Really? You?” Piper said, with a quiet laugh.

“Well, yeah,” Annabeth said, looking out through the trees and the snow that had been falling non-stop for the past three hours. She still didn’t want to look Piper in the face. “It’s-“

She was cut short by Piper. “Percy. It’s Percy. I know.”

“How? Is it really that obvious?” Annabeth said, but of course Piper would know, being a daughter of Aphrodite and all.

Piper sighed, small and sympathetic. “I just know,” she said. “I guess you could say I’ve been having problems of my own.”

“I’ve been throwing myself into working on the Argo II, getting ready to fly to the Roman camp and everything else that lies ahead. I’ve been trying to forget, but I can’t help but worry that things won’t work out. What if I never see him again?” Annabeth said.

“I know. I just want a new beginning with Jason, but sometimes I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not. Sometimes I can’t tell where the fake feelings end and the real ones begin. I don’t know how much of what I feel is from Hera and how much of it’s from real life, but I know that I feel something and it’s just making everything so complicated,” Piper said.

“I don’t remember what his smile looks like. Gods above, I’ve known him for years and suddenly we’ve been apart for a couple of months and I’ve forgotten. I remember how I felt when he smiled, the way it made me feel warm and perfect in a way I could never begin to describe. But I don’t remember the details of his face. I don’t remember how far he closed his eyes when he smiled, or how much of his teeth he showed, or the lines around his mouth. Why didn’t I memorize it when I had the chance?” Annabeth could feel the tears coming on now.

“There’s been so many times I’ve almost kissed him. I’ve come so close to just grabbing him without thinking, and then I realize that I can’t. He’s already confused, I can’t make it worse on him. But I want to. I want to, so badly. I want him to feel the same way about me as I do about him, but most of the time I think that will never happen. It’s…it’s excruciating.” Piper said, kicking the rock next to her foot. “Ow,” she muttered under her breath, and if Annabeth didn’t feel like shit she might have laughed.

“Merry Christmas to us,” Annabeth said.

“And a happy New Year,” Piper muttered.

Both girls sighed and looked at each other at the same time.

All of the sudden, Annabeth was hyperaware of the closeness between them. She noticed for the first time the way their arms and thighs were pressed tight against one another, and for the life of her she couldn’t remember when they had moved that close. As Annabeth looked Piper in the eyes, she could see every snowflake caught in her eyelashes and the way her mouth hung open ever so slightly. Time seemed to slow down as she took in the curvature of Piper’s lips, the smoothness of her skin, the pink glow of her cheeks and nose in the frosty weather. It slowed down further still as Annabeth’s thin, pale lips met Piper’s soft pink ones.

They must have both had the same thought at the same time, because never in a million years would Annabeth have kissed a girl of her own accord. Somehow, it just kind of happened. Piper’s gloved fingers curled around the soft spot at the base of Annabeth’s neck where her armor met her helmet. For a few seconds, Annabeth allowed herself to forget about the outside world. She forgot about gods and monsters, and she forgot about Percy. In that moment, it was just her and Piper. Everything else felt like a dream. But every good moment must come to an end. Eventually, Piper pulled away. The girls gave each other one last look, a silent agreement- _no one can ever know about this._

“Suppose we should get going?” Piper said.

Annabeth nodded.

They acted like nothing had happened as they made their way back to camp.

* * *

* * *

That night, as Annabeth lay in bed, she thought back to the words of the song Piper had been whistling.

“ _I’ll be home for Christmas, you can count on me.”_

_I did count on you, Seaweed Brain_ , she thought, _and look what good that’s done me._

She knew she should feel guilty. Instead, she just felt tired. So, as the last carolers of the night retired to their cabins, Annabeth drifted off to sleep, her fingertips still resting on her lips where Piper had been.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy holidays lovelies! Will probably have some Christmas-themed fic coming out over the next couple of weeks now that Nutcracker and NaNoWriMo are both over, so stay tuned!


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